Zanzibar, the holiday of Uchi (nakedness)

The magic of Zanzibar – the land of nakedness, truth, and forgiveness – will be etched in my soul.

Most times when my mind travels, I wonder whether we have truly evolved as a society. Yes, we have sophisticated travel with the ability to enter new planets, and the ability to defend ourselves against any enemies, as well as the ability to save lives through bounds and leaps of medical advancements, but even though we’re not rubbing two sticks together to make fire anymore, we still haven’t learned to put love and forgiveness over self-preservation. Time and again, we still choose power over inclusivity, ignoring the primal rules of society.

We create different defence and survival versions of ourselves to survive in this loveless and unforgiving society. We all fight battles every day and to be grounded for the people we love; we need to be forgiving of ourselves.

The tapestries that tell our stories are different – woven together with various threads and stitches, using different colours and patterns. Some are more complex and others more painful to read, but every stitch is relative within such vast tapestries.

I am grateful that I have my someone to debate this with now. After almost 15 months together, we took our first trip to Zanzibar, locked on an island with its purpose yet to be revealed. It’s been a well-deserved break after this last year that brought so much into our lives – the balance of loss and love, tragedy and joy, endings, and beginnings.

In Uchi, he saw me for who I was – naked I stood in front of him, baring the demons that haunt me. He heard all my truths and empathised while I cried sharing these moments. He embraced all of me, and on the raw and untouched island, we committed to continuing our journeys and fighting our battles together.

The first excursion we planned was a visit to the spice plantation, where we embraced that every seed, leaf, root and piece of bark has a part to play. Some add aromas, some add taste and others add feelings of euphoria. Hand-in-hand we trekked through slippery slopes with muddy shoes, soft rain drizzling down on us and warm wind pushing past us.

The guide, who had felt our energy and watched us as we walked, stopped us at one point and said: “Sir, give ring”. He forced a woven palm leaf ring into your confused hand, but it thoughtfully and instinctively found its way to mine and placed the ring on my finger. With joy in my heart and a moment that can be no more perfect, we carried on.

We talked about the rawness of life – the moments that hindsight gives you and 20/20 foresight. We challenged the principles of self-preservation, survival, and defence until they were stripped bare too.

At dinner that night (we decided on Italian), still proudly wearing my woven palm ring, I acknowledged that I am chaos. I am used to living by my own rules and for the first time in my life I am challenged and frustrated, but I am also loved. I tell him, “The only adventure I want in this whole life is you”. He pulls off the woven palm ring and replaces it with a promise ring, vowing his love, loyalty, and steadiness.

Uchi taught me that when we share our stories with the people we love, even when they are painful, you can smile while telling it, because of the safe and loving space you have created for each other. To evolve as a society, we should be courageous enough to love and be willing to forgive.

While we are still in this life, my love, let’s welcome each morning’s sun to the promises we made at Uchi.