Happy birthday, my baby boy

“The moment I wake up,

Before I put on my makeup,

I say a little prayer for you.

While combing my hair now,

I'm wondering what to wear now,

I say a little prayer for you.

Oh, baby ever

(You'll stay in my heart and I will love you)

(Forever) forever (and ever) ever

(We never will part, oh, how I love you)

(Together) together (together) together

(That's how it must be to live without you)

(Would only mean heartbreak for me)

Ooh, ooh, ooh

I wake up,

put on my makeup,

said a little prayer for you, love

I love you ….”

This song plays in my mind, when I remember the day I realised the meaning of love.

I woke up at 4:00 am, needing to be at the hospital in two hours. I touched my tummy in anticipation of seeing you – a life I created, nurtured, and spoke to every minute of every day… I felt you grow, kick, toss and turn in me, and nine months later there you were… I secretly always hoped you would be a boy.

My heart filled, then exploded, when I saw you.

I had found my reason for being and knew my heart would never be broken again.

I knew I would never have to fight another battle alone, that my heart and life would be OK.

I knew I would be good and you would be great!

I would be ordinary and you will be extraordinary…

I already knew what type of mum I wanted to be; I would talk to you daily and make sure I really listened – a skill I’m still learning today. And as soon as you come into the picture, there’s never been a boring or dull moment … naughtiness and mischief follow us everywhere. We’re the perfect mother-son duo.

So much revelry was created in the nine months in anticipation of you. Alrode Brewery (where I worked then) celebrated you – mum, walked the 9M HL brewery every day until the workers in the warehouse offered me their carts, because I looked like a duck waddling around! I was so big that I wore leggings and the company’s beer-branded t-shirts every day. In fact, it became a bet to see if I wore the brand that made the brewing targets.

There were months when R100 had to hold us for four days - six yoghurt cups, a loaf of bread, milk, and cheese. But we cut stars in the sandwiches and made grilled cheese toast with hot milk – all the while laughing and smiling.

Remember the marmite, cheese spread, noodles, or my homemade pizza bases that we turned into cracker bread because it was so crispy?

There were also days when I had pneumonia and you would sit with me and tell me to stop working and rest. Or worse, when I had food poisoning and you started throwing up with me because you wouldn’t leave me alone. We both sat with vomit in our noses, trying to see who could smell more – still laughing and smiling.

To my baby boy

Back then, and now, you bring the fun. You are my Universal Studios theme park!! Life with you is so cool; we laugh, we cry, we make picnics on the floor when Eskom turns the lights off.

We challenge and question each other’s thinking as we seek an understanding of life. And as I look back over the last 17 years, I am in genuine awe…

You choose roads so different from mine, defining, owning and creating your own path.

You take life for what it is, no more or less, and that is probably your greatest gift to yourself.

You walk into any quiet room and ask why everyone is so boring, and “lighten and shake it up”.

You dream big and grand.

I pray your soul remains always alive and resilient.

I can only speak about you through me, and speak about me through you, for our lives are so intertwined. I will send you a message to be warm, and you reply with please don’t fall – walk slowly.

So, your turning 17 also means hip-hip-hooray to me, for I am a mum in learning and I have graduated from nursing fevers and runny noses to mending broken hearts and having think tanks.

Happy birthday to you!

Today, I celebrate you, my baby boy, and the incredible young man you have become. Thank you for being a simple human – you are calm and centred, balanced and confident, fun and smart.

I pray, I will, and I pull on The Divine Mothers engraved in my soul to guide you, bless you, and hold you as extensions of their beings.

Be impactful, influential, and change lives. Fighters and leaders are born courageous and fearless! You are both, and you need to embrace it, for you belong to a destiny I cannot protect you from!

On your birthday, be YOU my baby boy, and you will give yourself the greatest gift.